I really don’t ever buy new things. I’ll get facewash when it runs out and buy a new spatula when the old one melts. And yet, I still don’t ever seem to have any money. I talk to people who get paid less than me (or just as much) and they are always toting some new bag, going on some crazy trip, buying new bike gear, or playing on some new fangled piece of apple technology. Whereas, I am perpetually broke.
I never eat out for lunch. My phone is a piece of shit on the most basic plan you’re allowed to have. I’ve gone out drinking with friends just once in the past month. I don’t pay for cable. My metrocard comes out of my paycheck pretaxed. I don’t get massages, or facials, or manicures… From my spending/living habits, I should be rich as hell. I never use to be this poor. Even in college I had more money than this. Even when I had just started my first job I had more money than this. I use to go out every day with my friends and I had more money than this.
I don’t ever really want anything so being poor isn’t too terrible. I am not one to be into the latest fashions or the most updated technology. I don’t have any expensive hobbies and I don’t have to wipe my butt with two-ply. All I want is enough money to safely know that I won’t overdraft when I buy a cup of coffee.
To me, these seem to be the top reasons why I am not where I want to be financially:
2. When I made money in college, I used it to help my parents pay for my rent. No saving for me.
3. Similarly, I never got to live off my parents when I just graduated. No bumming around by searching for a job. No living at home rent free for a while. And certaining no raiding the home fridge for food. Instead I went further in debt until I could find a job.
4. All the money I ever saved from birthdays and odd jobs prior to college, I signed away to my sister to help her pay for school.
5. The hospital keeps sending me residual bills for that time I almost went blind from dumb-ass contacts. So I almost go blind and then get charged almost $300 just to switch to a new contact brand.
6. Last but not least, my gym membership. No, I don’t need it. Yes, I’d love to have an extra $80 in my account every month. But it’s the only thing that helps me fit into my jeans still. Otherwise, I’d have to buy new clothes and boy will that be expensive.
I AM NOT CUSTOMER SERVICE.
I get crazy phone calls at work sometimes. People are upset about websites and products that I have never heard of and have nothing to do with me or my work. They don’t understand why the CEO of the 6th largest internet company in the world won’t take their call when their dating profile has been erased. “How can they run a business like this?!?!” they ask me angrily. ”They have a customer service line,” I reply. But of course, they dont’ want that… they want me to personally do something. I can’t. I honestly can’t. Then they call me stupid and tell me that they are going to do everything they can to get me fired. Brilliant. Now that you’ve insulted my intelligence why don’t I break my back to try to get you in touch with someone. NOT!
Goodluck going through life as a mean, fugly-hearted biaaatch.
HAPPY AUTO WEEK!
A lot of you are probably thinking, “so what?” Anyone who knows me AT ALL knows knows that I am a tv junkie. I know, I know… it’s a terrible habit, kills your brain, and makes you restless etc etc. BUT for me, it has the opposite effect. I am calmer, less anxious, and with my sitcom reruns, smiling and laughing much more. No more scouring the internet for free episodes of “I Love Lucy” and “Gilmore Girls.” No more “buffering” and “refreshing” and sitting through the same same same same 30 second commercial for nature valley bars. No more 13” screen. WOOHOO!
And this is made possible by R and his mommy. Momma R had an extra TV and didn’t know what to do with it. So naturally, R carried it to NYC from Baltimore just for lil’ ole me. He doesn’t watch too much TV and he still carried it on a bus, took it to a baseball game, held it on the subway, and walked it 10 blocks home just so I would be happy. If that isn’t true love, ladies and gents. I don’t know what is.
I haven’t felt much like blogging lately. All I ever want to do nowadays is look up Vegas related blogs and articles… and daydream about lounging by the pool with a giant cocktail in hand… and salivate at the prospect of unlimited chilean sea bass.
I just want a few days to not hear the phone ring and have my conversations interrupted by angry or confused clients— Just a few days to stay up past midnight and wake up after sunrise.
And I don’t want to have to wear rainboots or carry an umbrella anymore! Or feverishly look up weather.com in fear that my Yankee game might be rained in. After what feels like the longest winter of my life, my shoulders are permanently sloped down from heavy coats and my skin and mind has forgotten what “warm” feels like.
I am just so tired of living for weekends that are always too short and too errand riddled. Before I even get a chance to feel rested, BLAMMO… it’s Monday again.
Why do women have to linger in public bathrooms? I can’t do my business comfortably when people are right outside, adjusting themselves, fixing their makeup, or having inane conversations about who’s a slut and who’s a sad virgin (it’s Cindy btw). Personally, I prefer socializing where people aren’t pooping, but that’s just me. I’m kooky like that. I am a wash-my-hands-and-get-the-hell-outa-there type of girl and I wish more people were the same.
- F: Those are poiposes. Poiposes live in Alaska
- R: Those are dolphins.
- F: Really? Then where are poiposes from?
- R: Jersey.